Sirius' Last Night
by StupoKupo
Summary: Rren Destiny is searching for her lost love, Sirius Black, who had mysteriously disappeared the night before while going to see her. What happened to Sirius Black on that fateful night? Will Rren ever find him? What's with her lame name? Find out I guess!
1. Teh Part 1

_Teh Disclaimer: Dude, all these Harry Potter characters are totally not mine. So don't sue me or anything. And, um, Rren is actually mine. Even though she's a real person...ahm...never mind. _

_Hey ya'll, iz Kupo again. Just a few notes on this story…I originally wrote this for a friend who is totally crushing on Sirius Black, and used her real name. Obviously I can't do that here so I had to make up some corny name for her. It's more or less derived from her online identity. _

_Ah…what else. Oh. This story switches between Rren and Sirius' perspectives continuously, I'll do both of their perspectives per chapter. I don't know how often I'll post the next part, maybe every couple of days or a week or so. Probably every couple of days, as each chapter is not long and I've already finished the story._

_Don't worry…it'll get better as it goes along. _

**Sirius' Last Night**

Rren Destiny gazed out her window with worried eyes. The Tuesday night sky was just the same as always, tranquil and calm, and quite the opposite of Rren's feelings. _Where is my love? _The young girl thought, stars twinkling light years away, as if in an attempt to soothe her. All to no avail. Her evening was ruined: where once she felt love and excitement and romance, now she felt a gaping hole of disappointment in her heart and a gnawing feeling of venomous fear. Something had happened to Sirius. Rren knew it, deep inside her soul.

Suddenly a fire hydrant ran across her backyard under the window.

"ExCUSE ME, you are RUINING MY TOUCHING MOMENT!" Rren screamed at the thing.

"Sorry, I just had to break up it up. It was so disgustingly serious." Whined the fire hydrant.

"It's okay…" sighing, Rren got up off her chair and dragged herself away from the window. Then, pausing for a moment, she turned back toward the window and eyed the glowing full moon. The moon hid its face behind an ominous dark cloud.

* * *

Sirius Black strolled through the dewy grass with a grin on his face. He couldn't help it. It was silly, but the thought of seeing Rren glued it on his face permanently. It had been a while since they saw each other last. His constant wanderings and fear that he would be discovered kept him from her. But tonight, they would finally see each other again. 

"I'M GOING TO SEE RRRRRREEENNN!" yelled Sirius at the top of his voice, with some cool hand gestures. His jet-black hair even blew in the wind a little. Wow. Thaz hot.

The yellow moon on that Tuesday night seemed to smile and whispered, "_Are you Sirius?_"

"WHAT? WHO SAID THAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"_ARE YOU SIRIUS?_"

"YES, I AM SERIOUS. WHO ARE YOU?"

"_Why, I'm the Moon._" Murmured the Moon, showing off by glowing a bit brighter. Sirius looked up with some surprise.

"Oh. It's you. I hardly heard you, you're so far away and all."

"_Understood. Now why are you so happy tonight, Sirius, my friend?_"

This brought a smile back to his face. "I'm going to see my love."

"_Your love? Who is this?_" the Moon could not mask her curiosity.

"Rren. Sweet Rren, Wind Goddess of my soul!"

Secretly the Moon thought he was crazy, but kept this to herself. "_Where does this Rren live?_"

"Um…326 Wizard Lane, London…are you getting this?…Great Britain. Got that?"

"_Yes._" And the Moon put away her notepad she bad been busily scribbling on.

"Why'd you want to know?" Sirius wondered aloud. The Moon just smiled.

"Well? You dumb or something?" The Moon just continued to smile like some kinda dumby. Oh man.

"Psh. I'm done talking to you. DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU YOU WERE SLOW? STUPID? DUMB? CAN YOU HEAR ME, YOUR DEAF-NESS? TEH FLAMESS!"

The Moon smiled and smiled and smiled. How many times can I say that word.

"_I've got a secret…_" she murmured as Sirius stalked away after some seriously Sirius hand gestures and flaming. With that the Moon hummed some stupid song from the old days or something cool like that and a soft wind blew through the tree branches. SWAY SWAY.


	2. Teh Part 2

_No one commented. ;o;_

_EVERYONE FREAKING HATES ME. OHMYGOSH ANGST._

_Or maybe I just suck._

_Yeah. _

_Anyway, another random part of the story for all you non-existent readers out there. I'm still optimistic._

It was early Wednesday morning, around the time when little boys and/or girls go to school to goof off all day and maybe waste some paper, if it's a particularly good day. Rren woke up with the realization that she had fallen asleep at the windowsill last night, with a dusty forehead and drool all over the carpet. Ew. Rising out of the stiff chair, she rubbed her eyes with her palms and looked around blearily. Then another realization hit her harder. _Sirius had not come last night._

Mood taking a frantic turn, Rren swept across the kitchen into her bedroom and checked the clock. "Sometime early Wednesday morning," the clock read in digital green lettering. "Stupid Literaclock," she grumbled, grabbing her bathrobe and tying the sash as she reentered the kitchen and exited into the living room. "12:00? Stupid VCR." Stomping around now like a crazed abominable snowman, Rren entered the kitchen once more and noticed for the first time in two years that the stove had a clock on it. "Wow, I could of used that thing." The clock read 6:00 am.

"BINGO BABYCAKES." She shouted for no reason as the fire hydrant scraped into the kitchen from the direction of Rren's bedroom. "Mind if I grab some Cheerios before I head out? Me and the hoses have work to do today…"

After watching the hydrant hop up and down in an attempt to reach the top cabinet, Rren opened it and took out a box of Cheerios, bowl and spoon. "That's alright, I hate milk," added the hydrant as Rren headed to the refrigerator.

"Lots of sugar please, too. Oh. More than that. Come'on. Keep it going. Thaaaat's it. Yeah. Good." The fire hydrant looked very pleased.

There was a moment of silence as the hydrant stared at the bowl of sugary Cheerios. "It appears I don't have a mouth…" declared the hydrant thoughtfully, but Rren was already up and marching toward the door. There were more Sirius matters to attend to. Such as the fact that something very wrong had happened to serious last night. But the sight that met Rren as she wrenched open the door caused her to gasp in shock.

* * *

"My, what a lovely Tuesday night this is in front of Hogwarts castle at about 11:00 pm." Draco Malfoy drawled to his two cronies, Whatshisface and Goyle.

"Der, why does the narrator always have to mention the day at the beginning of each new chapter thingy?" Goyle asked, scratching his head. He sounded like a clown.

"_Because,_ you _idiot,_ the _reader_ will _get _confused _if _we _don't._" Draco practically yelled in badly placed italics.

"Oh-ho." Said Whatshisface, and he didn't even _ask _the question. So you see how bad _that_ was.

All this occurred while they were still walking. Amazing. Suddenly they heard a petite little cough and thought it was quite petite. But they couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

"HELLO? WHO'S THERE?" Goyle screamed in agony. Oh wait. That sounded wrong.

"_It's me, the Moon._" Said an impersonator.

"Go away Impersonator Person, no one likes your style," drawled Draco. "Hey Whatshisface, do you like Impersonator's style?" drawled Draco.

"No," drawled Draco. Crap. Not Draco! The other guy who isn't talking. What's his face? Oh yeah, Whatshisface. An…anyway.

A moon crater fell from the sky and crashed onto Whatshisface's face, sending him 210 feet into the earth's crust at speeds unmatched by any…person.

Everyone stared at the enormous hole the impact left.

"_It's me, the Moon._" Said the Moon, breaking the silence.

"Oh…I thought it was you." Drawled Draco, casting his eyes upward. The Moon blushed slightly because she thought Draco was sorta hot, especially when he drawled, and all those Christian fanatics all over the world went nutso and hid in their little bomb shelters which they had prepared especially for Armageddon.

"_I've got a secret._" Whispered the Moon with a small grin.

"I haven't got the time," dissed Draco, and he stalked onward toward Hogwarts castle. "Come'on, crony people…er, person. If we hurry we can still get to Gryffindor House in time to make Potter wet the bed!11111"

"_This secret is even better than Potter and wet beds combined…_" the Moon rushed before Draco could go too far. She was really an attention hog, so you see.

"Oh really?" Draco stopped for a moment and gave his attention to her.

"_Oh yes. It's about…Sirius. Sirius Black._"

Draco gaped. "SERIOUSLY?"

"_No, Sirius. Why does everyone get that mixed up?_" muttered the Moon in an annoyed tone.

"Never mind that! Do you know where he is?" Draco was thoroughly excited now, unlike you've never seen him before! Whatshisface and Goyle agree, three thumbs down! See it in a theatre near you!

"_He was talking incessantly about his love, Rren, Wind Goddess of his Soul._"

"Where does this Wind Goddess live?" Draco exclaimed.

"_Oh, I cannot tell you that…_" The Moon never gave out her secrets, so you see.

"Please?" Draco drawled.

The Moon didn't hesitate to spill the beans.

A few minutes later, Draco was whipping out his cool wizard cell phone, snapping it open and hastily calling his best friend, D00d the Demented Dementor.

"D00d?" Draco was hopping up and down. "I've got a treat for you tonight. I think you'll like it. It goes by the name of Sirius Black."

"W_cccrrrrrrrrr_hat? Drac_cccrrrrrrrrr_? Is that you bu_ccccccrrrrr _you're going out on me_ccccrrrrrr_." Came a ghastly voice on the other end. In the background there were noises of a bunch of racous yet jolly shouting and some chanting along the lines of, "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

"D00d. We're talking about SI-RIUS BL-ACK. The most wanted man in all of London? Mass killer? Potter's Pretty Pet? GET HIM."

There was some more _cccccrrrrr_-ing and yelling on both sides of the line, but eventually the point got across and the Dementors were on their way.


	3. Teh Part 3

_In this chapter I shall introduce Kupo, who in real life is me. I know I don't describe what anyone looks like; as I mentioned before, this story was for my friend so that was unnecessary. But if you're curious, Rren has straight brown hair down to her shoulders, usually in two pigtails, brown eyes, small short figure. Kupo has purple hair put up in two buns high on her head, and yellow eyes. Medium sized and whimpy-looking, compared to Rren's more sporty figure. There you go. :D_

_ By the way, Rren and Kupo are adults. Say 20 or so, give or take a few years._

What else…oh yes, Mrs. Jarmon and Johnsie refer to two of our teachers. Mrs. J teaches Geometry and Johnsie teaches Biology. 

_If you are reading this, comment please?  
_

Rren jumped back. It was Kupo, that annoying girl who used to be in her geometry class. They never talked while Mrs. Jarmon was explaining the lesson or last night's homework.

"Rren! Whassup girlfriend?" Kupo started doing the jive.

"Kupo, I know after all these years you are still jealous of me being a witch and not you, but that doesn't give you the excuse of knocking on my door every morning to say whassup." Scolded Rren.

"Well, that is usually the case, but today I've actually got something useful to say! It's about _you-know-who!_"

"Who, Voldemort?"

"God, no! Seriously now. It's about Sirius Black!"

"Ssssshhhhhh!" Rren's eyes darted both ways before she pulled Kupo inside her house and slammed the door. "What about? Is he alright?"

Kupo's face fell, and Rren had to mop it up real quick before she could continue. "No, it's bad news. I was walking around Hogwarts last night…" Rren rolled her eyes. Kupo often did so to see if she could see any wizard peoples. She was a fanatic. "And I saw a trampled patch of grass which looked as if a fight had taken place there last night. There was a torn piece of cloak on the ground…and this letter…" Kupo held it up. At first glance, Rren could tell it was written hastily. It was dirty and slightly wet, probably caused by the dewy grass, and at the top there was two spots of a dark substance. Rren guessed it was blood. The letter was addressed to her, but it had not been finished. It was from Sirius Black.

Devastated, Rren reached out numbly for the letter and read it.

_Dear Rren, Wind Goddess of my soul:_

_It's me, Sirius. Sirius Black. Seriously. I was just writing to express my undying love for you before I die. You see, I'm being chased by dementors and they are descending upon me at this moment, I can feel their hot breath on my neck and I d_

The last letter was warped; the path of the writing tool had taken a downward turn and was dragged toward the edge in a jagged, ungraceful swipe.

"OH. THE ANGST." Rren wailed.

"Shut up…you're embarrassing me. Not to mention myself." Kupo whispered.

Rren's thoughts turned to the dark spots on the page. "Do you think…?" her voice trailed off as she pointed at it.

"I don't know, Rren. It…it _could _be Dementor blood…I wish Dumbledore was here so we could ask him, but he's…er…attending a wizard council in Las Vegas right now…" Suddenly Kupo's face lit up. "Wait a sec! I took biology. And genetics was my favorite part of the year. I could ask Johnsie if I could borrow a microscope…I believe I know enough about chromosomes and crap to be able to determine if this is Sirius' blood after all…what do you think?" Kupo began to look excited.

"Um…sure…" Rren had always doubted scientific stuff. In fact, she had been attempting to disprove the scientific method for some time.

"Yes! I can do this!" Kupo wrenched the letter out of Rren's hands and grabbed her arm. "Let's go!"

"Now wait a minute. My car is broken down, you can't teleport, and the school is way too far away. Not to mention the Pope is in town, traffic is gonna be backed up the wazzoo." Rren did her best to avoid the situation.

"Not to worry," assured Kupo with a wink. "I've got special connections. TO THE POPEMOBILE!" and she yanked Rren across the room and out the door.

* * *

Wrapping his heavy coal-colored cloak tighter around himself, Sirius quickened his pace, now entering Hogwarts grounds. The night around him had gotten noticeably colder and the forest looming around him had an ominous look about it. It seemed to press in on him. This place was not safe; that he knew, having been to the forest himself. Also, there was a good chance he would get caught if he wasn't careful. He couldn't let that happen for Rren's sake. 

A chilly wind began to pick up around Sirius; strange for such a calm night. Slowing down, though his senses told him he should be speeding up, he surveyed the area around him. He could see nothing, yet…

Colder still. Instincts finally kicking in, Sirius began to walk, faster, faster, a little faster. There was definitely something wrong.

A crackling of twigs from the forest; Sirius whirled around, heart racing. Still nothing. Resisting the urge to break out in a run, he turned back around and walked again, but noticed something strange. The grass was crunching under his feet. Looking down, he saw frost coated the grass beneath his boots. Fear grasping his heart in an iron grip, Sirius bolted across the grounds.

_Oh God, oh God…_ was his only thought as he ran for his life. Footsteps could be heard close a little too close behind. The Dementors were after him.


	4. Teh Part 4

_Thanks Lappy. My, you are teh good friend. Myyyyy oh my. ALL DEH TIME!_

_Anyway. I don't have much to say this time, my peeps. Which means Lappy._

_Enjoy._

Hopping out of the Popemobile, Kupo turned and kissed the Pope's ring on the hand extending out of the front seat of the cart.

"Thanks John. You're always there in a pinch."

"That is why I am the Pope!" he declared in a "duh" kind of voice as Rren stepped out of the vehicle and gazed in awe at the Man himself, making a habitual sign of the cross. At that, the Popemobile started up and motored off, the Pope waving casually back at them as they made some serious mileage.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU KNEW THE POPE?" Rren screamed at her friend as the car disappeared in the distance. Kupo laughed because her face was like, really red.

"What? I don't know the Pope, Rren." Kupo headed in the direction of the school entrance. "God, you're so random."

Staring after her in disbelief, Rren finally dashed after her yelling obscenities.

"Be respectful! The Pope is still within a fifteen mile range!" Kupo shouted over her shoulder.

Outside of Kupo's old science classroom, Rren pushed open the door carefully and peeked inside. Kupo pushed open the door forcefully and Rren fell all over the floor. Grabbing a broom, Kupo swept her up and emptied her in the lab area. "That isn't the way to properly dispose of waste…" Rren grumbled as she got up and brushed herself off. Ignoring her, Kupo grabbed a microscope in a storage cabinet and placed it carefully in the middle of the table. As she set things up, Rren wandered around the classroom, gazing at all the scholarly posters thoughtfully.

"It's been a while…" she thought out loud, running her fingers along all the old slightly dusty desks. Suddenly the classroom around her melted as she receded into a flashback.

"Will you stop having a flashback moment thing please? I can't find the outlet in all this melty room darkness stuff."

"Ah. Right." Blushing, Rren brought things back into reality for Kupo. As the outlet swam into view, Kupo jammed the plug into it and retrieved the crumpled letter from her pocket. Sliding it under the lens, she began to investigate it under the microscope, occasionally swapping the lens. Rren watched in utter fascination.

"OH MAN, HOW DO YOU DO THAT MAN?" she frothed at the mouth.

Kupo swapped the lens some more and Rren clapped enthusiastically.

"Okay. That's enough, idiot." And Kupo proceeded to hit her friend on the head with a baseball bat.

"Where the heck did you get that?" Rren asked after the barrage ended.

"In that closet." She pointed to the left.

"Oh, good." Rren headed that way.

As she sifted through all the junk in the musty closest, Kupo said a lot of interesting things like, "Ooh" and "Ah" and sometimes, "Fung Shui". But not that often.

Finally she stood up just as Rren came out of the closet wielding a dropper and a few Erlenmeyer flasks. "I have reached a conclusion." Kupo announced loudly.

"Is it Sirius' blood?" Rren screamed. Kupo stared at her and finally said quite coldly, "Lower your tone of voice missy. Screaming is a bit dramatic." "Sorry," Rren muttered sheepishly and fell silent.

After much staring, Kupo finally straightened back up and said, "I have found out that things are Very Hard to find under a microscope."

Rren went nutso and pelted Kupo with Erlenmeyer flasks.

Suddenly the door to the room banged open and Mr. John hobbled in. He was, like, really old now. It was funny. He had really only intended to teach for maybe a year or two, but since the Science Teacher Holocaust of 2008, there was an unexpected shortage of science teachers. One thing led to another, and Johnsie ended up teaching for a Very Long Time.

And now back to the story.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Johnsie hobbled in with his cane and stuff.

"What the cracket is all this racket?" he wheezed. Suddenly he laid eyes on Kupo and gasped.

"Hey. Hey! You're that girl who sneaks in here all the time, eating cheetos and listening to the Master Musicians of Joujouka! Plus you made 100's all the time in my class! God, you don't know how long I've been wanting to kill you!"

All this time he was really mumbling since he was old and all. Rren paused in her Erlenmeyer bashing and stared at him open-mouthed. Kupo followed suit.

After he stopped talking, she said, "Hey John, will you help me find this thing under the microscope please?" John nodded agreeably and hobbled over.

Soon the spot of blood was finally under the view and Kupo was carefully investigating it.

"Hey Rren, how many chromosomes does a human have? Like, twenty-seven or thirteen? I can never remember."

"Um, I think it's five."

"Twenty-three!" coughed John. But nobody listened to him. He was totally old.

Rren and Kupo debated for a while and finally agreed on one hundred and two. Then they had a heated argument on whether Dementors even bled or not. It was…_passionate._

Finally, Kupo looked up from the microscope and stared Rren straight in the eyes, taking her hand.

"Rren…this is definitely blood."

"NOOOOO!" howled Rren.

"Yes. And it is Sirius' blood. I'm sorry."

"Oh. Alright." Rren said brightly. And then a bunch of their old science teachers came in with their canes and walkers and chased them both out of the classroom.

* * *

Feet pounding the ground, breath coming in labored gasps, Sirius raced across the Hogwarts grounds, cape flowing dramatically behind him like a flag. A flag of DOOM. A piece of parchment was in his hand, and somehow despite all the running and crap, he was scribbling furiously on it. He tried not to think that this would be the last thing he ever wrote.

And the Dementors approached.

And Sirius ran a bit more.

And the Dementors got a bit closer. Maybe by 3 square roots of eight feet or something.

And Sirius…ran a bit farther. Maybe not by 3 square roots of eight feet, but pretty darn close.

"Okay, _okay, _enough of this crap!" Yelled D00d the Demented Dementor. Huffing like a nutso on crack, he slowing to a stop and held out his arm as if to make Sirius halt, also. Surprisingly enough Sirius did so, still holding his unfinished letter.

The two eyed each other for a moment, both wheezing after their long flight.

"You run fast, man." D00d finally spoke up.

"Yes." Replied Sirius quite modestly.

"…" D00d scowled under his hood. "You're supposed to comment on how fast _I_ run now. That is custom."

Sirius nodded amiably. "You run about as fast as a snail on a trail of molasses."

The group of Dementors hissed. D00d shrugged it off and held out a gloved hand. "Let's stop this stupid game, friend. Come get a beer with me."

Straightening up and brushing his cape off his shoulder, Sirius considered the offer for a moment. Then, he strode forward with a smile, hand extended. Just as D00d reached forward to grasp his hand, Sirius pulled back and impaled D00d's hood with his wand. Then he went ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM, crying out over his shoulder: "I can't believe you _fell _for it!" in a classic impression of Dark Helmet, giggling the whole time. D00d stood there for a minute in utter disgrace, wand sticking out most unceremoniously from the darkness of his hood, hands still at his sides. Suddenly he lifted his hand slowly, finger pointing at Sirius' retreating form and a blast of green magic streamed from the wand in his head.

"Pretty colors," breathed all the Dementors as the magic zoomed toward poor Sirius and caught him straight in the back. Sirius stood there for a moment; then crumpled up into a totally SB heap on the ground. Everyone laughed, including me. But you know.

Stepping forward in unison, the Dementors led by D00d all surrounded Sirius, cackling evilly. Eyes opening slightly, bleeding hand shaking, Sirius attempted to hide his letter from the Dementors. However, D00d planted his foot firmly on the crumpled parchment and with both hands tried to wrench the wand out of his head. It didn't really work the first time, and he had to get a couple of his peeps to help him. But they got it out soon. Then D00d pointed the wand at Sirius and threw back his hood, just as the moon hid its face behind an ominous dark cloud.


End file.
